By Eric Rosario
(Tamuning, Guam) Umatac sweethearts Rudy Quinata and Joyner Scott Sked were a 12-pack of beer deep Wednesday night, when she went to the store to buy a government-classified essential item: more beer.
Ms. Sked told police they started arguing inside a home "over him believing that she took too long in the store to buy beer." Mr. Quinata told police that he walked out of the home and his girlfriend, "ran after him and pulled him to the ground," according to a declaration of probable cause by prosecutor Rolland B. Wimberley, who is seeking misdemeanor family violence charges against both of them.
Mr. Quinata's nephew, who was a witness to part of the altercation, called police at his uncle's insistence after the couple was rolling around and fighting on the lawn of the home. While Mr. Quinata told police it was Ms. Sked who tackled him, she told police it was Mr. Quinata who began pushing her. She said he punched her several times. They both agreed that he left the home first, and she pursued him.
Ms. Sked told police, "I don't care what you do," according to Mr. Wimberley's declaration. "Just arrest me already. I hit him too."
We couldn't make this stuff up, even if we tried.